Here at the Spurtle we relish all communications from readers, the more criminally intended the better.
This evening, an unsolicited offer came from a perfect stranger which so perfectly combined imaginative breadth, self-deluding cunning and naivety that we laughed like a Seafield overflow pipe joyously disgorging into the Forth.
Below, the communication is reproduced in all its idiosyncratic oddity minus an email address. Enjoy!
COMPENSATION FOR YOUR PAST EFFORTS.
How are you? I'm happy to inform you about my success in getting the fund transferred under the co-operation of my new business partner from China. Although I tried to involved you in this deal, it was decided by all Might God. Presently I'm in China for investment projects with my own share of the total sum. I have limited access to internet but I will get back to you as soon I finished my project. Now I want you to contact my Pastor in Burkinafaso [EMAIL ADDRESS]
Ask him to send you a cheque with sum of $800,000.00 token gift which I kept for you as
compensation. I want you to know that I am giving you this money with all my heart so feel free to get in touch with my spiritual father and tell him where to send the cheque to. Please do let know immediately when you receive the money so that we can share the joy together after all the previous sufferance.
Dr Peter Grant.