A migraine-inducing blizzard of new illuminated and non-illuminated signs is planned by Tesco Stores Ltd for the branch at 7 Broughton Road (Ref. 13/00540/ADV).
We urge readers to don sunglasses, visit the link above, and have a good laugh.
Mostly confined to the store's ground-floor level, the 82 beauties will include: store entrance signage; 7m store gantry signage; finger directional signage; a recycling tablet; flag signage; lampost signage; directional signage; open hour blips; a wall graphic; deliveries signage; finger directional signage; additional directional signage; a promotional banner; Department of Transport signage; danger signage; a hello wall; and, finally, hello and goodbye signage.The planning application also proposes external branding to windows, cashpoint machines, lift and external walls.
Sensibly, Tesco remarks on its explanatory graphics:
'Signage contractor to ensure that all directional arrows point towards the correct location and that all text refer to actual in-store offers.'
Unhelpfully, the propoals do not make clear the final position of flag signage.
Thankfully, lighting at Level 1 is to be improved, which may help customers read the disclaimer signage reading:
'Sorry ... Tesco can not accept any responsibility for any damage or theft from this car park.'
Spurtle has mixed feelings about this sudden explosion of information. On the one hand, it reminds us of a posturing Ruritainian generalissimo with a chestful of medals and a large (possibly frozen) chip on his shoulder.
On the other hand, it is worryingly reminiscent of the unwelcome and intrusive public injunctions found across North Korea, Singapore and Communist China.
If Tesco wishes to further alienate its customers with such electricity-wasting excesses, good luck to it.
Local residents, however, may want reassurance about possible light pollution and likely noise levels generated by so many unnecessary objects' shakes, rattles and howls during the windy months of winter.
See also Issue 197, p.1. [Image above-right by Oliver Svob, Creative Commons]