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Cool response for new clapper

Dear Editor 

An update on the position with the St Stephen's bell [Letters, 7.12.14]. 

Following an intervention by Mr Mark Lazarowicz MP, I have, at long last, received a substantive reply from the City Council.

It appears that further measurements have been conducted using a lighter bell hammer. It seems however that this generates even more noise which, to my mind, further calls into question the methodology being used by the Council.

Be that as it may, it seems a big walloper is preferable to a wee one. I don’t imagine that will come as a surprise to anyone.

The Council seems determined to pursue what has been its objective from the outset – namely to silence the chimes overnight. Discussions are ongoing with Leslie Benzies. 

I’m sure he is more than able to fight his own corner and I wish him well. Incidentally, Leslie, season’s greetings from the non-lunatic fringe. 

John Ross

(Dundas Street)


The following tweet appeared, coincidentally, the day before John Ross's letter was published.

Twas the night before Christmas

And you couldn't hear a peep,

Except the pealing of a church bell

Interfering with your sleep.#NewTownXmas

The following tweets appeared, incidentally, in response to the letter above.


Twas Battle of St Stephen's,

Twixt tired & noise-heathens;

One wanting night a bit quieter,

Other brown-nosing new proprietor.

Oh, God. Will no-one free us of this troublesome Flâneur?


(To be chanted, playground-style):

The bell, the bell,

Won't toll for thee,

Even if you put it In a rubber johnee.

Can anyone think of a way to reduce or quieten the frequency of @NewTownFlaneur's emissions?


Twas the spite before Christmas

Twixt insomniac & campanophile;

The former desperate for sleep,

The latter brim-full of bile.

@NewTownFlaneur Unless I am mistaken, it was to be FELT, not rubber @theSpurtle

Surely, there must be some way to shut him up? On and on and on. 


Twas the fight about St Stephen's:

The flaneur versus some old blokes.

One spewing bons mots,

T'other on the verge of strokes.

@theSpurtle completely bonkers. Time to unleash McQuasimodo...the tartan campanologist

@theSpurtle @stockbridgetwit Given the miniscule reading over guidelines don't Council have to prove damage? Surely owner can turn on strike