'Guess what everyone?' shrieked Twitter this morning, her dulcet tones shattering the eardrums of everyone within a five-mile radius. 'It’s February! At last! Praise Odin’s beard!'
And fair enough, for what is not to love about February? Surely it’s the most wonderful time of the year. Is it not February that hosts the pagan festivals of St Valentine’s Day (14th), St Pancake’s Day (21st), and the beginning of everyone’s favourite period of abstinence (after the January detox), Lent? Yes, it is.
February is also LGBT History month, and given that Broughton was recently described by The List as Edinburgh’s ‘hip gay hub’ (trips off the tongue, doesn’t it?), residents of Spurtleshire are well placed to celebrate all 29 days with panache.
'29 days? Surely that can’t be right?' the less awake of you are probably grumbling. 'There are 28 days in February.'
Ordinarily we would award you a gold star for this canny observation, but this here is one of those fabled Leap Years. Excitingly, the extra day is the one opportunity in every four years for women to propose to men – such audacity is prohibited by law the rest of the time.* According to Wikipedia, where we do 98% of our fact checking, if your man refuses your offer of marriage on the 29th, he must offer compensation in the form of 'a kiss, £1, or a silk gown'. Bear in mind that this tradition dates back to 1288 (allegedly) and a pound now constitutes a considerably larger amount (we reckon around a fiver).
But soft, we are getting ahead of ourselves. You have the whole month to plan your proposals (or rejections); or, indeed, to rethink your life’s priorities – this obsession with wedding favours and sparkly shoes and yards of tulle can’t be good for anyone … But there are only a few days to plan how you will celebrate National Libraries Day on the 4th! We suggest visiting a library, perhaps even borrowing a book. McDonald Road Library (2–4 McDonald Road) will be open from 9am–5pm – you could try there.
On 9 February, you might want to pop along to Moodjam at the Voodoo Rooms (19 West Register Street). This is a fundraiser in aid of Action on Depression, with performances from North Atlantic Oscillation, The Marvels, Nick Paterson and Steve Heron. Tickets are £7 in advance or £8 on the door, and you can get in from 7.30pm.
Theatre, now, and we would highly recommend Avenue Q at the Playhouse (8–22 Greenside Place) 7–11 February (see here for times). The basic premise is Sesame Street for grown-ups, and it is very funny. As a point of interest, the fact that this show stars a load of puppets does NOT mean it is suitable for children. Unless they are precocious enough to deal with mature lyrics about racism, pornography and schadenfreude.
Also for adults, Simon Munnery brings his new show Hats Off To The 101ers, and Other Material to The Stand (5 York Place) on 28 February. If you like wordplay, surrealism or satire, this is probably for you: 7.30 for 8.30pm, tickets £10.
* And if you believe that, you’ll believe anything.