BLAST OF THE GREAT ROMANTIC

St Valentine’s Day: What’s not to love about it?

Let me count the ways. 

1. Why would I want to buy a single rose now at the same price as a whole bunch at any other time of the year? What’s more, a beautiful (possibly genetically modified) rose which usually withers and dies by lunchtime. During times of austerity, I’ve often just purchased the stem.

2. There’s nothing worse than riffling through thousands of tacky cards in the card shops to find the one which is least offensive/nauseating/soppy and doesn’t commit me to anything I’ll regret down the line.

3. Valentine’s Day is the only day of the year where you go out for a romantic candlelit dinner just to sit mere inches away from some other couple, slurping their wine and chomping away on their haggis, neeps and wife. If you leave without being splattered by strangers' soup then it’s been a successful evening. And why do we booted and suited couples have to ignore each other whilst pretending to have a good time? When did it become illegal to join the tables together and introduce ourselves?

In all seriousness, you can’t put a price on love, which is presumably why we spend only one day a year celebrating or commercialising it with inflated prices for tacky overpriced tat, wilting petals and public displays of affection. It wouldn’t be right to do it on any other day of the year. 

I’m surprised Edinburgh hasn’t embraced the opportunity more wholeheartedly. Surely there’s a gap at this time of year for a Love Festival which could include fireworks, merchandise stand and an ice rink?

I’d like to suggest that we all boycott Valentine’s Day. Not just locally but nationally, globally, universally. I propose a new type of Day where we don’t buy any cards, don’t go out for dinner and leave the flowers alone to grow in their rightful places. 

We could even ignore each other. I’d be happy with that. I’d even go as far as putting myself forward as patron saint. How about Cantankerous Day?

 If you’ve been affected by any of the issues mentioned in the article, please let me know at @TheLHTD or via e-mail.

[Rose image by gs-darkstock, Creative Commons; Cupid's arrows with pretzels and homemade gum drops, courtesy of Here Comes the Sun]