As you read this, electronic copies of the June Spurtle are already speeding their way across the virtual barony like spring bees late for an appointment.
Issue 296 starts traditionally on Page 1, with news of a fetching 13-year old recently sighted locally after a prolonged absence. She is joined by the latest on new routes proposed for Broughton and beyond, a pew hue, and a local industry insider’s views on the potential benefits of business as abnormal.
On Page 2 we begin with a snotty sign, armed robbery, and getting out and about without leaving the comfort of your own computer. We take the plunge with immersive experiences in the offing, examine the pros and cons of waste management during a plague, consider ways to make lockdown unnecessarily more enervating and expensive, and consider some pleasant aspirations that promise a lot without specifying any of the hows and whens needed to make them reality.
Page 3 returns to the subject of our fetching 13-year old, now grown up and making a nuisance of herself until brought down to earth in Leith. Tulips are better than one, and contributor Ross Maclean waxes lyrical about them in poetry and prose. We salute a departing friend, suggest offering other friends gallons to drink until they turn green, and finish off with short items on Italian cooking, ginger, pickles, aliens, and threatening police officers. We do not condone the latter, in either direction.
Page 4 looks at another irritating sign of our times, gives space to a provocative view of Calton Hill, records doubts concerning democracy in a crisis, and spreads glad tidings about the revival of markets under difficult circumstances.
Page 5 is, as usual, something of a disappointment.
All this and more will be available as a pdf, downloadable in glorious colour from our website HERE at midnight tonight. Alternatively, you can ruin your eyesight squinting through plexiglass at printed copies on noticeboards in, for example: Blenheim Place; Melgund Terrace; East Claremont Street; and Bellevue, Hillside, and Hopetoun Crescent Gardens.
If you’d like to help on the Spurtle, offer articles, photographs, ideas, arms and legs, or cash in unmarked £50 notes, we’re always eager to hear from you. Email us at email@example.com.