As you read this, advance copies of the December Spurtle will shortly start wafting across the barony like doves blown backwards and squawking on a 50mph south-westerly.
Issue 357 begins with an ill-considered blockage, barking sanity (at last), mystery basalt stars and bakery bravura. And breathe.
On Page 2 we discuss the need to juggle a cube and square, report curmurring on a crescent, feature an octopus and appeal for subscriptions. We speculate on a new name for an old quarter, clarify haze, invite suggestions for Great King Street and fess up to the deficiencies of our steam locomotive coverage in November’s issue.
We continue on Page 3 by recalling an eminent local (recently passed), salute great aims and questionable positioning, dip a toe into drunken orgies and salute celestial achievement. We satisfy all your requirements for reportage of saltires, roundels, perverts and an ‘absolute bloody nightmare’.
Issue 357 concludes with a fond farewell, unwelcome gas, complaints and good news for keen-eyed Fifers.
In short, if it moos, squeaks or rattles under the bed between Pilrig and Stockbridge, Queen Street and Canonmills, you will read about it in our 4 pages of tiny print and extensive concision.
Pick up your copy before it blows away. You can get piles in local shops, pubs, services, libraries and plastic railing dispensers across Broughton and beyond.
Alternatively, download a colour pdf from our website after midnight on Sunday.
