TO OIL, OR TO BOIL? THAT IS THE QUESTION

One of the best things about living in Broughton is the sense of community, and although you live in a big city you really feel as if you belong to an entirely separate area. It’s almost a village atmosphere; even your next-door neighbours are friendly. 

But what do you do when you have a problem with one of those neighbours? Do you confront them? Do you ignore the problem, hoping that it will go away? Or do you act to fix the problem without them knowing about it? These are the questions that I face and I put them to you for your help.

I guess the issue that I’m experiencing is not major and it's not exactly to do with the neighbour but with part of his property. It doesn’t keep me up at night. In fact it doesn’t even make my blood boil (yet). It’s a minor irritation, but  a troublesome one nonetheless. My problem is a squeaky gate and that gate belongs to my neighbour. The gate makes its presence known every time it’s used. You can hear it when someone goes in or out. If that gate is irritating to me, then why doesn’t anyone else notice it? Are its owners oblivious to the sound? Are they not aware that there is a remedy for the problem? 

That remedy is WD-40. There may be other anti-squeakers on the market but I haven’t bothered to look. WD-40 has become a swearword in my household. Whenever the gate squeaks we can’t help but shout ‘WD-40’ at the top of our voices. Secretly, I’m hoping that WD-40 man (as the neighbour is now known) may hear what we’re shouting and a seed be planted in his subconscious. 

What should I do about it? I’ve thought about this a lot. I’ve considered sneaking out in the middle of the night and spraying it myself, but I think it may look a little bit too suspicious. I’ve considered spraying it in the middle of the day when everyone's at work ... but what happens if I get caught? I haven’t actually considered asking WD40 man if he would mind if I sprayed his gate because I’m entirely British and couldn’t possibly bring myself to do so. 

So that leaves me with no other option than to ignore it and get on with my life. 

Now, if you are reading this and you know you have a squeaky gate of your own, then perhaps you might consider lubricating it. Frankly, I’d be happy to do the neighbourly thing and lubricate it for you. 

But if you’re not minded to fix the squeaks, please remember that what starts out as a minor irritation can evolve into furious bitterness and drastic measures. One day you may return home and find that your gate has disappeared entirely.

Until that day, I'll continue to be the friendly neighbour who exchanges pleasantries and doesn't complain about a thing. You'll never know who I am ... until it's too late.

If you have advice, a squeaky gate or any other domestic item you'd like WD-40-ed, tell us and we'll pass on your comments to the LHTD. Please contact us by email: spurtle@hotmail.co.uk  or Twitter: @theSpurtle  or Facebook: Broughton Spurtle