Well, that’s another small tear in the fragile fabric of civilisation, writes David Young.
In the increasingly garish world of so-called ‘high-street shopping’, one of John Lewis’s last remaining USPs was the provision of an agreeably peaceful retail environment, where customers could browse the quietly tasteful goods in undisturbed tranquility.
But, as I discovered on a recent visit to the Spurtleshire branch, it seems those days are gone.
Now, from small black smart speakers mounted on high shelves and in out-of-the-way corners throughout the store, comes the constant tinny irritant of piped music.
It’s distracting. It’s dispiriting. It’s just plain unnecessary.
‘Has John Lewis given up its no in-store music policy?’ I asked one member of the shopfloor staff in her regulation paramilitary uniform, once she had stopped talking to someone on her headset.
‘We’ve never had a “no in-store music” policy,’ she replied. Which may be technically true but rather ignores the fact that, for as long as most of us can remember, John Lewis has avoided playing piped music on its premises, and have sometimes, I’m pretty certain, made a positive virtue of it.
‘It’s kind of disappointing,’ I said. ‘Can’t it be switched off?’
‘I’ll pass on your concerns,’ she said, her hand pressed to her headset and backing away with the slightly startled look in her eyes of someone who’s just been asked to turn off the rain.
So it looks as if we’re stuck with it.
Letters to the CEO will no doubt elicit the usual bland replies and the familiar (improbable) claim that ‘customers have said they like it’. (Who has ever written to a shop in praise of the muzak?)
It’s not even the full-on disco thump heard in H&M or Urban Outfitters, which can at least be hypnotically engaging. Rather, it’s just quiet enough to be annoying – like it’s coming from a teenager’s bedroom upstairs, or a neighbour’s open window. It’s almost as if John Lewis doesn’t want to take full responsibility for the disturbance.
Perhaps this tentative in-store experiment will entice hordes of keen new customers, thankful to have at last a musical accompaniment to their selection and purchase of sensibly priced bed linen and attractive light fittings. A hae ma doots. And I certainly won’t be back.
What’s next – Waitrose? Watch this space.
