PRAM, LIFT AND DOWNWARD MOBILITY

There are both positives and negatives to being a proud pram owner. 

A positive is that if people are getting in your way then you can crash into their ankles and blame it on the equipment. A negative is that you can no longer take the stairs and you end up spending a lifetime waiting for lifts.

You already know I hate shopping, so I won’t bore you with that rant again. Recently, though, I found myself in John Lewis (it was some kind of present emergency) and before I repress the memory I’d like to share it with you. 

The torturous experience was over and it was time to leave. I had the pram with me and all the accessories that go with it, but we were two floors up. We could exit via the St James Centre and go the long way home, or we could take the lift to the bottom and get back a bit quicker. So I pressed the button and waited.      

We waited a while and when the lift finally arrived it was full. The occupants of the lift seemed quite annoyed that it had stopped. In case you’re not aware, John Lewis has escalators to every floor. I didn’t want to judge, but all those inside seemed quite capable of using an escalator. So why were they in the lift? I was the one who should have been annoyed. 

If you’re not sure what an escalator is, try to imagine moving stairs. An escalator is effortless: you stand on it and it takes you up or down and you don’t have to move. Even if you are unfit, tired or lazy, it’s easy. Taking the escalator can free up the lift for people who actually need it.

The lift departed and I weighed up my options. We could leave now and exit via the street, or we could wait. The lift might be back in a few seconds and the delay would have been worthwhile. So I pressed the button again and waited. Moments later the lift approached but the doors didn’t open – it skipped our floor and continued on its way. 

What was going on? Giving up now would have made my decision even more of a waste of time, so we waited again. A few cheerful shoppers came alongside. They were youngish and looked like they wouldn’t find moving stairs too much of an issue either. Another person joined us. He looked like a gym instructor and he had the audacity to push the button. I had to say something.

“You know the escalators are just over there?” 

Without making eye contact, the gym instructor replied, ‘I prefer the lift and I don’t mind waiting. I’m not in a rush.’ 

Not in a rush? Prefer the lift? Do people not realise that the lift should only be used by those who actually need to use it? Not by lazy good-for-nothings who think they can express a preference. There’s an actual sign up saying exactly that (or something similar). The lift is s a necessity, not a pleasure. 

I tried to contain myself. The Little Left-Handed Tea Drinker was beginning to get as restless as I was, but we had to wait. There’s no way we were giving up now. I’d earned the right to use the lift.

Twenty-five minutes later, the lift finally came back down. There was just enough room for the pram and the first few people. The gym instructor would have to wait. I couldn’t help smiling. That had made my day. 

We got in and I pressed the button. It was time to leave. I looked down through the glass and surveyed the exit. Our destination was within grasp and I let out a sigh of relief. Then the lift went up.

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@theSpurtle been there! Lol