Ungrateful whingers who do nothing but moan on about the state of St Andrew Square will soon have to eat their words.
When the popular green oasis opens as a festive wonderland tomorrow, disgruntled locals who delight in complaining about the condition of the grass will find that event organisers Underbelly have specifically addressed their concerns.
Not only will much of the disgusting sucking ooze be thoughtfully concealed under plyboard decking, but splendid new metal bridges will also bypass some of the worst and stickiest sloughs.
For those hurrying to work, an express skating lane will allow them to glide effortlessly over the bog from one side to the other.
In a column of his own, former Council Leader Donald Anderson argued in yesterday’s Evening News that festive attractions subsidise Edinburgh residents’ shops, theatres, culture, jobs, families, buses, restaurants, clubs and cheap foreign holidays.
But now that we belatedly understand that there’s so much money to be made, and that buckets of it are going towards our next 2 weeks in Ayia Napa, we wholeheartedly applaud Essential Edinburgh’s vision in transforming part of the World Heritage Site into a ‘jaw-dropplingly stunning’ cash-cow.
Like Anderson, we say ‘We can’t let Grinches ruin fantastic festivals’. In fact, why don’t we just permanently tarmac St Andrew Square and be done with it?
Got a view? Tell us at spurtle@hotmail.co.uk and @theSpurtle and Facebook
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Universal joy as Underbelly staff remove the last unsightly blade of grass from St Andrew Square. Let £mas begin! http://www.broughtonspurtle.org.uk/news/st-andrew-square-–-dont-mention-sward-0
Paul Reynolds The picture has possibilities for a caption contest. What is going on with those hoses?
@theSpurtle Which lasts longer? The grass next to the path round the square or a full wheelie bin in Broughton Lane?
@EdinJag No contest.
@theSpurtle If the Magi, guided by Primark's nocturnal brilliance, visit Edinburgh this Xmas, they'll be incensed by St Andrew Square.
@NewTownFlaneur Because, as non-Edinburgh residents, they won't be entitled to a discount? Am not sure @AndrewDBurns makes convincing Herod.
@theSpurtle Hmmm..wouldn't surprise me if they were so frankincensed about the sorry state of the Square that they'd commit myrrhder.
@NewTownFlaneur Don't mind that, so long as they get on with it. Don't want unelected royals epiphannying about on the ice.
@theSpurtle @NewTownFlaneur You're just too kind.
@theSpurtle Of course, some crazed reveller could myrrhder one of the kings on the helter-skelter: a nasty case of regislide.
@NewTownFlaneur Underbelly have already thought of that. They were practising this afternoon.
@theSpurtle @NewTownFlaneur is it the soul crushing corporate affair again or are the traditional stalls back? #drambuie drinks awful lastyr
@melaniemoar@theSpurtle The forecast is heavy corporate soul crush, with possible light regicide around Epiphany.
.@thespurtle asks @EssentialEdin "Why don't we just tarmac over St Andrew Square and be done with it?" http://edinburgh.stv.tv/184680/
@stvedinburgh@thespurtle@essentialedin Killjoys!
@theSpurtle have you seen St Andrew Square today? It's been renamed Qatar Airways square until January!
@edinspotlight @theSpurtle I'm more likely to go tobogganing in Qatar than set foot in St Andrew Square this Christmas.
@edinspotlight @theSpurtle Is this a joke? I am unsure.
@NTCleanStreets @theSpurtle every second board is for Qatar Airways plus they have a large hut.
@edinspotlight @theSpurtle Thank you, sounds charming. You've saved me the trip to be disgusted by it with my own eyes.
@NTCleanStreets @theSpurtle well nothing screams Edinburgh's Christmas like a 'fly to Doha' campaign.
@edinspotlight When you say 'a large hut', do you really mean 'a lowly cattle shed'?
@edinspotlight @theSpurtle Presumably all arranged by FIFA.
