What is it with St Mary’s RC Primary School on East London Street?
The place has a good enough reputation among those locals who attend, but to the casual passer-by its exterior signage has all the welcoming charm once reserved by the Alamo for visiting Mexicans.
Having in the same breath sternly wagged its finger at parents and dogs approaching from Gayfield Square (above-right), the school then issues dire warnings first about the state of its roof ...
and second about the condition of its walls.
And woe betide any child who gets caught pocketing a pencil sharpener ...
This is the kind of over-the-top blood-curdling threat normally reserved for the car parks of important infrastructural buildings such as the Waverley Exchange over the road.
Meanwhile, just down the way, Avis – oddly for a car-hire firm – seem to have issues with traffic.
Mind you, East London Street doesn’t have a monopoly on shouty signposts. Braemore Property Management on Cumberland Street South East Lane take themselves so seriously they screech at you from the wall in unison.
This garage door on Scotland Street Lane East deploys the repellent deterrent power of red ...
but for maximum admonishment before you've even unclunk-clicked, try Scotland Street Lane West. It all starts quietly enough with an indistinct murmur ...
then becomes firmer but still polite ...
before suddenly the ‘please’ is dropped and you begin to suspect you may need a bit of luck to get out in one piece ...
Not clear enough for you? Try this ...
Still don’t get it? Pay attention!
Don’t make this garage owner angry ...
or you might end up somewhere deeply quiet, quietly deep, like this ... a vertiginous cliff-face between Greenside Lane and Marshall's Close. Disturbingly stained and malodorous, it is conveniently central for gangland executions.
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Vasilis Karaiskos Will I be forensically tagged if I go there and correct the spelling of "tracable" in that poster? The sign being at a school and all...
Gaye Cleary it's clearly a council poster and not the school's fault. Unfortunately, St Mary's has suffered very badly from theft in the past couple of years. It's a serious problem. Would you prefer the council do nothing - welcome them in, perhaps?