As you read this, advance copies of the November Spurtle are already appearing in Broughton like Black Friday zombies lurching across town in search of a bargain.
Issue 346 begins with a sour-faced Bonnington mystery which has been bothering us for ages but we think we’ve finally cracked. Readers must judge. There’s news too of a long overdue fightback, some serious social problems in Bellevue, and the unmistakable sound of a bureaucratic big bird ducking an issue.
Gum, bums and a boutique hotel feature on Page 2, as does an eyebrow-raising instance of revitalising optometry. There are birds in quiet places, lost chips in noisy ones, railings and left turns, and the chance to park a small sum of money in return for a lot back.
On Page 3 we satisfy all your cravings for bad bins and mutton chops, grand entries on horseback, food on the hoof, temporary structures and liver pills guaranteed to preserve you from prostration.
It all ends with a grand exit on Page 4, the reappearance of a lost friend, a bangless crescendo, and best wishes for the festive season. Next stop: 2025.
Black-and-white printed Spurtles are available free from shops and services across the barony, from bars, libraries, bistros, hairdressers, grog shops and handy plastic dispensers on convenient corners. Alternatively, you can download a colourful pdf (a welcome addition to any Christmas e-tree) from our website HERE after midnight tonight.
We have important stories arriving on our website over the next few days, so keep your eyes peeled. And if you have news of your own you think we should hear about, let us know at spurtle@hotmail.co.uk … we’re always interested and always discreet when required.
