Does watching Barcelona play football make your heart burst with gratitude for widescreen, high-definition colour television? Does the sight of Andy Murray's cross-court volley make you long for a cup of tea and a chocolate Hobnob? If so, you are exactly the kind of person the Health Police are looking for.
Activcity – Edinburgh's festival of sport – has returned, giving free opportunities to try a wide range of new activities.
All tastes, ages, waists and pain thresholds are welcome.
You can click on the pdf below for a full programme of events across the capital and Lothians, or check the list here for what's on offer within waddling distance of Broughton. You're advised to check availability before turning up.
Saturday 11 June
- Masters Swimming Taster, 8am, Glenogle Baths: Aimed at building fitness in the pool with stamina sets and work on stroke technique. Tel. 343 6376
- Can you defy gravity? 10am–4pm, Glenogle Baths: New equipment permits 200 exercises for a full body workout. Tel. 343 6376
- Aquafit, 11.10am and 12pm, Glenogle Baths: Enjoyable, water-based fitness class. Tel. 343 6376
- Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Community Sports Day, 12pm–4pm, King George V Park: Family-friendly sports day and PICNIC. Egg & spoon races, 3-legged race, shoot the hoops, 5-a-side football, community tug of war. Friends/family from beyond the LGBT community also welcome. Tel. 523 1100
- Edinburgh Moonwalk, starts 10pm, Entry fee: Raise money for the fight against breast cancer whilst walking in the dark being relentlessly cheerful. Apply online: www.walkthewalk.org.
Tuesday 14 June
- Ageing well health walks, 10am, Meet on London Road (at first bus stop heading out of town): physical activity for those aged over 50. Bring outdoor clothing and comfy shoes. Bus pass optional. Tel. 458 2183
Thursday 16 June
- Ageing well health walks, 10am, Meet on London Road (at first bus stop heading out of town): physical activity for those aged even more over 50 than they were on Tuesday. Bring outdoor clothing and comfy shoes. Tel. 458 2183
Saturday 18 June
- Family tennis, 2–5pm, Inverleith Park: Coaching tips, games, fun, challenges, mums throwing temper tantrums. Tel. 0919 377027
- Think you can defy gravity? Come down to earth with a bump, 10am–4pm, Glenogle Baths: New equipment permits 200 exercises for a full body workout. Tel. 343 6376
Sunday 19 June
- Watch other people play baseball for 5 hours, Edinburgh Diamond Devils v Edinburgh Cannons, 1–6pm, Warriston Playing Fields: Ideal for people too impatient or American to watch cricket. Tel. 07921 713615.
- Show your saggy bits who's boss before they get caught in your shoelaces, 10am–4pm, Glenogle Baths: New equipment permits 200 exercises for a full body workout. Tel. 343 6376