As you read this, advance copies of the April Spurtle are already spreading across Broughton like dispersible aspirin in the glass of a Tesla PR executive.
Issue 349 begins with the local effects of a wider problem and the general uselessness of iron railings. There’s also limited praise, an inclination to access and the musical squalor of Broughton Street wizards.
Page 2 looks at the weather, unbalanced communities, wasted effort, pongs, and rotten sarking followed by time and relative dimensions in Croall Place, not necessarily in that order.
Quarrelling schoolboys are rebuked on Page 3, and an AI-generated HGV appears on the Moon. We have news of boundaries, a convenient companion, a departing long-time team member of the Spurtle, and more or less interesting archaeological artefacts (mostly less).
On Page 4 we conclude with dents, defects, democracy and design details. We also look forward to goats.
In short, if it bleats, burps, bickers or biosynthesises anywhere between Howe Street and Papermill Wynd, York Place and Canonmills Bridge, you’re likely to find it in the four pages of Issue 349.
You can pick up a copy from shops, bars, eateries and public libraries across the barony and beyond, or download a dishwasher-safe pdf from our website after midnight on the first of next month.
Remember! We rely on readers for news, views, images and indiscreet insights from the powder rooms of power. If you’ve got a story, contact us at spurtle@hotmail.co.uk.
