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EDWARDIAN NEWS FROM THE MEWS, 26

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TO-DAY’S POLICE NEWS.

EDINBURGH CITY—Before BAILIE M’MICHAEL.

TWENTY-FOUR HOURS’ CRIME.

There were 65 new prisoners brought to the bar, the charges being: Disorderly, 30; football on the street, 9; incapable and theft, 5 each; assault, 4; begging and malicious mischief, 3 each; indecent conduct, 2; nuisance, drunk in charge of a horse, loitering, and throwing missiles, 1 each.

ISSUE 308 – OUT TOMORROW!

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As you read this, advance copies of the June Spurtle are already dotting the shelves of local shops like huge pepper grounds on the boiled eggs of a salad nicoise accidentally left overnight on the kitchen table. At least, I think they’re pepper grounds.

Page 1 contains contested spaces, controversial clusters, and one word too many; takes a deep breath before consultation; and rejoices in the gore-bellied posturing of an Edinburgh humbug long gone but not forgotten.

EDWARDIAN NEWS FROM THE MEWS, 23

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CABLE-CAR ACCIDENT.

A sad accident occurred opposite Piershill Cemetery on Tuesday evening.

A boy named Andrew Cameron, nine years of age, and residing at 32 Greenside Row, was returning from Portobello along with a companion, when he rushed out behind a van and ran right in front of a cable car coming in the opposite direction.

The driver applied both brakes, but he was unable to stop the car, which knocked the lad down, and the wheels passed over one of his legs, severing it under the knee.

STAFFORD CENTRE SEEKS VOLUNTEERS

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Broughton Street’s Stafford Centre has for over 30 years helped people experiencing mental health difficulties to build self-confidence and integrate with the community. Managed by Support in Mind Scotland, it’s a resource for anyone living in the Edinburgh area.

As it prepares to step up its activities over the next fortnight, the Stafford Centre now has two volunteer roles to fill. Local Spurtle readers could be an ideal fit.