As you read this, advance copies of the October Spurtle are already dispersing across the barony like dropped PPE masks on an easterly breeze.

Page 1 contains a refusal, an appeal, a crisis, and ‘an absolute disgrace’.

Page 2 takes a deep breath and calmly outlines a delay, a declutter, a bit more detail, and a desire for improved fresh air. Plus Enlightenment, a toucan, Walnut Whips, and an occult reference to an unusual body part most human beings don’t like to talk about.

Spurtle has received a report that on Saturday afternoon, a group of moto-cross bikers harassed participants in a peaceful Critical Mass cycle protest in the city centre.

Police Scotland today issued a press release. We publish it below unedited and in full.

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Detectives in Edinburgh are appealing for information following the attempted robbery of a woman in the Broughton Road area of the city.

The incident took place around 8.45pm on Thursday, 23 September, on a walkway commonly referred to as the Warriston Path, near to the opening at Boat Green.

The victim, a 33-year-old woman, was approached and threatened by a man, before she ran to the nearby Tesco. It is believed the man left in the opposite direction.

The sight of workers swinging from the tower of Broughton St Mary’s is enough to make anyone queasy.

Imagine how much worse you’d feel if you were responsible for the cost of repairs and someone told you it would be £80,000 more than you’d originally budgeted for.

That’s the alarming position now facing those responsible for the familiar and much-loved 200-year-old structure at the centre of Spurtleshire.

Have you ever wondered about these paviours?

They skirt the northern and western sides of the inner footway outside Drummond Place Garden, and many examples have a peculiar blue-ish hue. The words read:

TEES SCORIA BRICK CO.

PATENT

One Joseph Wharton of Darlington patented a machine for making bricks, tiles, &c. from molten blast furnace slag (scoria) in 1877. They had the advantage of being tough, waterproof, and resistant to chemicals.

Detailed proposals for a new National Centre for Music and performance space at the old Royal High School were submitted to Edinburgh Council this morning [bit.ly/3n6StBw]. We’ll comment once we’ve had a chance to peruse and digest.

As well as bigger educational facilities for St Mary’s Music School, the Royal High School Preservation Trust plans to create a café, gallery, visitor centre, and fully accessible public gardens.

Glasgow-based Kelvin Properties intends to replace the warehouse  at 67 Logie Green Rd with homes for sale and affordable housing.