As you read this, printed copies of the August Spurtle are already finding their way across the barony like sunbeams newly escaped from a top-security darkened cloud-chamber.
Issue 298 begins as usual on Page 1, this time with news of a development on the brink and a rumour scotched. There’s coverage, too, of a roundly criticised proposal, ineffective enforcement, cancellations of cramming, and a whack in the yack for Spurtle’s view of the monumentally offensive.
As you read this, printed copies of the July Spurtle are already appearing across the barony like half-eaten fish suppers on a pre-Lockdown Saturday morning.
Issue 297 starts with shameless public nudity, whereby hangs a tail. It continues with suggestions for Council officers to chew over, more doubts on discussions in a crisis, and thoughts about a stuck-up local whom few people seem ever to have liked much.
UNHELPFUL PREVIEW HERE
As you read this, copies of the May Spurtle are not fluttering from the presses like so many cherry blossoms borne on a gentle breeze across the Barony of Broughton and beyond.
Rather, in the absence of working print-shops, Issue 295 remains trapped in the egg-bound bowel of the Editor’s computer.
As you read this, only a very few Spurtles are dispersing across the barony, maintaining a 6ft distance between each other at all times and accessible to readers from behind a plexi-glass safety screen.
Should you be lucky enough to encounter a copy, you will find on Page 1 news of flood, foam, and festive fatigue, and an unwelcome visitor to Broughton and all parts beyond.
As you read this, advanced copies of the March Spurtle are already popping up across the barony like snowdrops awaiting the first dog of spring.
We begin on Page 1 with 186 miles of scaffolding, a foot, a hole, a potentially colourful crossing, and an abrupt absence.
On Page 2 we continue with news of roughly circular arguments, straightforward disruption, carbon-neutrality to your doorstep, and a potential Trojan Horse. There are also Planning stories aplenty, supplemented by news of knitting, local businesses, and buses.
As you read this, early copies of the February Spurtle are already traipsing their way across the barony like lost tourists in search of something authentic.
We begin on Page 1 with a backward glance at the cause of all the mud, continue with better news about the cause of all the emptiness, look forward to plans for getting more quickly from one blighted spot to another, and introduce two delightful new faces to a delighted Bellevue.